It has indeed become clear, after a fair amount of introspection, that my mind works differently than most people. These thoughts are put to the test in extreme environments, and the truth really does come out. Take now, for instance; at some point the honeymoon stage of a new place ends, the sights and sounds all become something normal, you are surprised one day by life's plainness, and you begin to look backwards instead of forwards. That sounds like something to write about.
I am very fortunate because when I do look back some very special people have equipped me with some very special memories. I remember beers on my front porch off speedway and silly video games late into the night. I remember walks up to Mount Bonnell when life needed some thought, looking out on the river and the lights and those flickering radio towers. I remember long 100 mile rides -- a distance I now realize would take me from Seville to Portugal -- sunburned and exhausted, and the BBQ meals that always followed. We did not need much those days, and man, you lose sight of those moments until they have been gone a long time.
I said something rather simple to a girl recently -- some random thought about her life -- and she called me profound. In my mind that read as sarcastic, and perhaps condescending, but it wasn't meant that way at all. Conversations these days lead to bland stares and mushy heads, like an endless stream of online videos. It's a terrible thing to be away from your people. It's a curious fact of life that those thousands of miles away feel closer than those sitting next to you in a circle.
This past friday I stayed in bed with a book rather than join a group in the streets. The next day the internet went out, and I was fascinated by reactions throughout our residencia. Everyone looked lost, wandering the halls in a way that reminded me of that day back in Alice Springs, Aborigines stumbling drunk in the park. I am sure I am viewed as strange, or old, or other things I cannot imagine, but I do not much care these days because I just do what feels right. I woke up healthy and alive the next day and had another nice cool run.
Every once in a while when I lay in bed, I put down my book and look up at the walls. There is an Australian flag, a Texas flag, and the flag of Andalusia waving softly with the breeze -- my makeshift version of interior decorating. It's times like this I sit back and drift off to some great things that happened once that really, truly, profoundly matter.
I am very fortunate because when I do look back some very special people have equipped me with some very special memories. I remember beers on my front porch off speedway and silly video games late into the night. I remember walks up to Mount Bonnell when life needed some thought, looking out on the river and the lights and those flickering radio towers. I remember long 100 mile rides -- a distance I now realize would take me from Seville to Portugal -- sunburned and exhausted, and the BBQ meals that always followed. We did not need much those days, and man, you lose sight of those moments until they have been gone a long time.
I said something rather simple to a girl recently -- some random thought about her life -- and she called me profound. In my mind that read as sarcastic, and perhaps condescending, but it wasn't meant that way at all. Conversations these days lead to bland stares and mushy heads, like an endless stream of online videos. It's a terrible thing to be away from your people. It's a curious fact of life that those thousands of miles away feel closer than those sitting next to you in a circle.
This past friday I stayed in bed with a book rather than join a group in the streets. The next day the internet went out, and I was fascinated by reactions throughout our residencia. Everyone looked lost, wandering the halls in a way that reminded me of that day back in Alice Springs, Aborigines stumbling drunk in the park. I am sure I am viewed as strange, or old, or other things I cannot imagine, but I do not much care these days because I just do what feels right. I woke up healthy and alive the next day and had another nice cool run.
Every once in a while when I lay in bed, I put down my book and look up at the walls. There is an Australian flag, a Texas flag, and the flag of Andalusia waving softly with the breeze -- my makeshift version of interior decorating. It's times like this I sit back and drift off to some great things that happened once that really, truly, profoundly matter.
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